When Our Lady Went Silent – Mirjana in her own word: “I wanted to die. I just wanted to die! I thought that I could not survive…
“Mirjana, I chose you, and I told you everything that is necessary. I entrusted you with the knowledge of many abominations, which you must carry with dignity. Think of me, and how much I too shed tears because of this. You must always be brave. You quickly understood my messages, and so you must understand that now I must leave. Be brave…!”
December 25th, 1982
Having experienced this constant harassment that was on the edge of sadism while in Sarajevo, after 18 months of daily apparitions, Our Lady suddenly told you that she would stop appearing to you… Even if she previously did not say anything, she was still coming to you!
Yes, she was coming, and then it was as if the world was coming to you. I drew strength from that; love… When you see her, you can not hate anyone! You don’t want to take revenge on anyone! No! Because you know that she loves that person who does evil to you. That person is also her child. She suffers because of that person. This is also the reason that I had the strength to go forward.
On Christmas Day 1982, when Our Lady told me that I would no longer have the daily apparitions, I listened to her but I did not believe her. I thought that it was impossible. How? How could it be possible that I would no longer see Our Lady? Honestly, I did not believe her.
The next day at the usual time of the apparition, I knelt. I prayed, prayed and cried. This went on for hours. Mom would come into my room; then dad. They would tell me to stop and they comforted me. I wanted to die. I just wanted to die! I thought that I could not survive. It was too hard! I was completely devastated; sick. This suffering was unbearable… Finally, I think that it’s through this constant prayer that I received the strength to understand and move on. I realized that it was God’s will. I always talk about prayer and fasting because that’s what has helped me in life. For me, the cure for everything is these two things: prayer and fasting; nothing else.
Our Lady stopped appearing every day to you on December 25th, 1982, which means that you did not have any apparition for three months, until March 18th, 1983. How did you live through those three months?
That was very hard. I was then in Sarajevo and, when Our Lady told me that, I listened to it but did not hear it. I did not think that it was possible. I thought that it was just an exam; that she was somehow testing me. How could that be possible? How should I live without her? How should I live without apparitions? When I thought about it, I would say to myself that it could not be, that this was only a temptation. Every day for the next ten days, at the time at which I had seen Our Lady, I would kneel and pray. I would pray and pray. Then I would cry in pain, and again I would pray and cry. Mom would constantly enter the room, pleading with me to calm down and to pray together, so that I could understand that what I was doing was certainly not God’s will; that I had to accept it, as I accepted the apparitions. Now I had to accept that there would be no more apparitions. She was so full of love and patience, and I think that it was her motherly help and my prayer that helped me to overcome all of that.
Then, there was commotion on March 18th, 1983.
Yes. (laughter)
How did you experience that day?
I experienced it as a new birth. (laughter) I was waiting for that. From December 25th, 1982, I thought that it would be at least on March 18th, on my birthday